“I loathe my life;
I will give free utterance to my complaint;
I will speak in the bitterness of my soul.” Job 10:1
The Hebrew word translated here “loathe” also means “weary.” Have you ever been weary of your life? Oh…I have. And often, if I’m being honest. I have been to the darkest places in my mind, places where death seemed the only way to peace.
Life on this side of heaven is hard. I don’t have control of the direction of my life as much as I wanted or expected when I was younger, when I was making decisions I thought would lead to happiness. There are other forces at work — many outside of my control — that have derailed even my best laid plans.
I rejected God early on, refusing to even consider the claims of the Bible because it all seemed so foolish to me, and instead chose my own way. And what I discovered after many years is that everything I thought would bring me happiness ended up leaving me still lacking, still seeking, and never finding what I really wanted — peace, joy and contentment in a world filled with suffering, including my own. It would be easy to say, looking back, that all this was simply the consequence of my rejection of God. According to the Bible, I broke every commandment, so of course I would be unhappy, right?
Job, however, was a godly man. He worshiped God, lived a holy and set apart life, and was known far and wide for his integrity. Even God said of Job that there is “none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, who fears God and turns away from evil.” (Job 1:8)
Yet Job has lost everything — his children, his wealth, and his health. God did not protect him from these things, and indeed, He allowed them. (Read Job 1 to see why.) And now, having been completely stripped of all earthly and temporal things, including the ease provided by financial success and the riches of a loving family, Job is finished with living and wants to die.
Not simply weary, he is filled with bitterness, which has finally led to the “dark night of the soul.” Depression has overtaken him, and he sees no way forward.
Speaking to his concerned friends, Job laments,
“Are not my days few? Then cease, and leave me alone,
that I may find a little cheer before I go—and I shall not return—
to the land of darkness and deep shadow,
the land of gloom like thick darkness,
like deep shadow without any order,
where light is as thick darkness.” Job 10:21-22
Job has lost all hope.
Have you been in this place, my friend?
Are you in this place now?
Because of God’s love, this story — like mine and so many others — doesn’t end here.
Because the same God who allowed his servant Job to lose everything is the same God who restores the broken, redeems our deepest pain and greatest suffering, and by grace leads us out of darkness and into His glorious light.
To the hopeless, He offers a glorious hope, a hope that does not disappoint, a hope that overrides all our earthly sorrows and losses, a hope that supplies joy and peace in the midst of whatever circumstances we may face today.
His name is Jesus.
He is the reason the apostle Paul was able to say,
“Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:11-13
In Christ alone, my hope is found. He is my light, my strength, my song.
I have found my hope. Is He yours?